Not So Award Winning Performances

So the dust has settled for the Rangers on the 2009-10 season, we've eulogized them, and laid them to rest. We lauded the best players last week when we brought you the Rangers NHL award-winners, but now it's time to "honor" some of the other fine contributions the Rangers had this year.

So we've gathered the winners together here at the Sizzler in Yonkers, and I am dressed to the nines in my powder blue tuxedo, it's time to get to the winners, and then Hall and Oates will be here to play for us after the ceremonies. Here we go!

The Ozo/Ndur/Horava Award, given to the worst defenseman on the Rangers: C'mon folks, there can only be one winner here, and its Wade Redden. Congratulations Wade! Oh well it looks like Wade somehow managed to take a bad penalty on his way to the podium, so Michal Rozsival will accept on his behalf. Well, better make that a 5-on-3; can we get Matt Gilroy up here to accept please?

By the way, in the not so distant future, we will have to rename that award.

The Jimmy Hoffa Award, given to the Ranger who pulls the best disappearing act of the season: Our winner is Bobby Sanguinetti, if anyone has seen him; please tell him to contact Blueshirt Banter to collect his award.

The Seinfeld Finale Award, given to the Ranger player who violates the "Duty to Rescue Law" goes to Dan Girardi, for not helping Marian Gaborik during his "fight" with Carcillo. Let it be known there were about a dozen runners-up for this award, for numerous performances.

The "Boy Named Sue" Award, given to the toughest player with a girl's name, goes to Jody Shelley. Honorable mention to Marian Gaborik.

The "WTF?" Award goes to Aaron Voros, for referring to himself as "The People's Champ" on Twitter.

So there you have it, my goofy little award presentation. Feel free to come up with some of your own in the thread.